Rant

Almost 10:00 and my husband still has not gotten out of bed. I keep praying that God will take away my worry because if I start spinning in my brain it is really hard for me to do the next right thing. I am between laundry loads and I have to get it done before I can continue in the dining room. My house is #1 on my unmanagable list. Maybe it is my ADD brain that makes this so hard for me. I have had a hard time keeping anything neat and tidy my whole life. It is overwhelming and frustrating. I always wished those ladies from "How clean is your house"
show would show up at my door and help me. My old sponsor offered to come over to help but frankly, I am too embarrassed to have anyone over. My step mother bitched at me this week over this because I will not let them come over to see my son. She said if it is that messy then my son should not be here. That hurts. This time I am serious about getting it done and keeping it that way but it will take me a while to get it done. I don't think I will ever be a neat freak. I just want a comfortable house for my family that I would open the door to anyone that shows up and let them in. When I get going like this (there goes that fucking alarm and my husband hitting snooze), anyway as I was saying. When I get going like this, Itry to keep in mind how far I have come in the house and give myself some credit. Now the damn "I" button on my laptop is not working properly. sigh. I plan on having the house 75% done by Sunday as I would like my father and step mom to come over next week. My husband will be here to help. Although, he has taken the responsibility of taking the trash out on Thursday nights and it did not get done, so now it will sit in our breezeway until next week. Ugh. My nose ring broke again and it had not healed yet so I have to get another one. OK OK I am ranting.... better here than holding it in my brain......