From the mouths of babes

Ok. I keep getting up and doing something. Then I remember something else I want to say. I hate ritalin. I have to take it because I was diagnosed with a form of Narcolepsy and it helps my ADD. ADD is very different than ADHD. I wish I had the hyperactivity at times. Without medication I would want to sleep or fall asleep spontaneously and become lazy with a cluttered mind. But some days the ritalin makes me anxious and I tend to hyperfocus on one thing, usually my computer or a craft. I have been trying to redirect the hyperfocus to something useful like cleaning my house. Today is starting out like one of those days. But anyway I wanted to write about what my son said yesterday.

I smoke. I hate it. My mom died from it and she quit for 15 years. It is one of those things I know I am going to have to do for my own health and my sons. My husband smokes too. I also need to lose weight and I plan on doing both of these together. Anyway, yesterday I was outside smoking with my son playing with his scooter on the deck and he said "Mommy, you are going to die from those smokes". It hit me like a ton of bricks that he is so aware of everything. Redirecting his energy is another unmanagable of mine. CAN I PLEASE FINISH THE HOUSE FIRST!!! {smiles}. So my son knows that I can die from smoking.

Since losing my job at the preschool I have had a hard time keeping him busy here at the house. Again, having the house orderly will make things easier on me. I have a lot of plans for him while he is home with me but I am trying to finish the house first. Just this morning I had to listen to him yell and scream and throw a tantrum because he wanted his big Christmas Snow Globe out of the basement. I gave in and got it. I could not handle the noise of him, TV, and the every 9 minute alarm going off. Ugh. Right now he is ranting about going outside and climbing on me and yelling about whatever. He has a pretend friend that he calls his ghost. This concerned me for a while until my dad reminded me that my sister had a pretend friend to. Now he is asking me to clip his fingernails that don't need to be done.

I am going batty. LORD please help my brain. I should probably eat something. One of the side effects of Ritalin is I forget to eat which makes my anxiety worse. Some yogurt sounds good. I will be back.