Christmas Blah

Usually this time of year is exciting for me. I liked putting up the tree, decorating the house, and being part of all the Holiday festivities. But recently I have been having a problem of being very unsettled. I cannot sit and try to enjoy something. It is kinda like not knowing what to do with myself. A fellow AA friend said that I need to find things I enjoy doing. I have plenty of things to occupy my time but I do not enjoy them. I have a whole craft room full of ceramics to paint, beads to string and other things but I cannot force myself to sit and do them because I am so unsettled and cannot enjoy things. This is a very uncomfortable feeling. As an example, I am having this problem right now. I have quite a few things to do around the house to prepare for my son returning home but nothing feels good. It is almost like everything feels so foreign. So I decided to sit and journal for a minute on here to see if this helps.

My husband is still in bed and it is 1:00. I need him to help me with the things around the house. He needs to vacume the upstairs so I can start to move our son's toys up there. It is frustrating to me when my husband does this. He complains so much that he has a hard time getting up in the morning, yet, he spends a lot of time on the computer. I have suggested that he start a bedtime routine. Like most things, these suggestions fall on deaf ears.

I am feeling overwhelmed by what I need to get done before my son comes home. I know there isn't that much and I shouldn't let myself get overwhelmed, but my ADD brain has a hard time sorting everything out. Prioritizing is not one of my strong abilities.

Finally, my husband is up. Let's see how much I can accomplish today.