Daily Reflection - I'm Not Different

In the beginning, it was four whole years before AA brought permanent sobriety to even one alcoholic woman. Like the "high bottoms," the women said they were different;...The Skid-Rower said he was different...so did the artists and the professional people, the rich, the poor, the religious, the agnostic, the Indians and the Eskimos, the veterans and the prisoners...nowadays all of these, and legions more, soberly talk about how very much alike all of us alcoholics are when we admit that the chips are finally down. As Bill Sees It p. 24

As I reflect on this, I have a very hard time with its message. I feel like, as a unity, AA has many things in common, but woman have very different alcoholic strings that make us up. I once read, while in detox, a book about alcoholic woman. Woman drink for different reasons, the alcohol gets in our system quicker, we become addicted faster, and die sooner if not treated.

I understand that we must have unity in AA or we end up seperating everybody and then seperating myself from God. But God made me a Woman, and he intended differences to be there. That is why I did enjoy some of the Woman only meetings online and here in my home town.

I do not intend to seperate myself from the group AA, but to acknowledge and even celebrate the fact that because I am a Woman - there are differences biologically, emotionally and spiritually that I gain wisdom from other Alcoholic Woman than what I would from a man. I am not saying that I have not gained tremendous insight from my fellow Alcoholic Males, because there is a lot in common, but there are differences as well.

I could not fall asleep tonight and realized I did not read my daily reflection before bed. I tried to look up in my bible for verses regarding the male/female difference, but did not find any before my eyes started to droop. Maybe someone would have some verses handy for me.

Since becoming sober, sleep has been my number 1 problem. The nightmares, the tossing and the problem with shutting my spinning brain off. I trust God that these will subside in due time.

Not only do I talk to my Sponsor, but I have a therapist who thinks this blogging is a great idea. I am waiting on my book that I ordered "12 steps - a spiritual journey". It is a workbook that I will share on here.

For now, as the moon shines on my little one's face, I know that I have been given the greatest gift of all next to the gift of Jesus, it is the gift of being able to be honest for once and not to reinvent myself because God invented me just fine, but being able to redefine myself as a sober woman living a Godly life. One step, One day at a time. Tomorrow is a clean slate.